October30
*this post is really long but I had to tell the whole story not just the highlights*
I really need to go back several years with this birth, I can’t really just start with this pregnancy.
After two years of trying to have a baby in 2005 we surprisingly found out we were pregnant. I had several scares during the pregnancy but overall everything was going great.
Until at 35 weeks my water broke one morning. I wasn’t having contractions but my Doctor wanted to see me at the hospital. They induced my labor and things sped up VERY quickly. I started pushing and thought the process would be over soon… Elijah was face up and every time I had a contraction his head was being slammed into my pelvis and his heart rate would drop. So the option we were left with was a c-section.
Knowing what I know now I would have requested to change positions rather than lying on my back trying to push him out and I wouldn’t have taken the induction drugs which I believe led to the fetal distress… BUT hindsight is 20/20.
Fast forward 2 years and I’m pregnant with my second son, Gideon, I have a Dr. who has promised me I could try a vbac. During my pregnancy I told him I thought I had a bacterial infection. He wouldn’t listen to me and refused to test me for it. The reason being is I had refused the hormone shot he wanted me to take to prevent pre-term labor again. I assured him my water broke and I wasn’t in labor with Elijah (there is a difference) the hormone shot doesn’t help with the water breakage just if you’re actually going into labor early.
So this time my water broke at 34 weeks and when we got the hospital the Doctor basically said we can do a c-section now or in 12 hours it’s up to you. Knowing that I had a 19 mo. Old at home I thought why not just get it over with? That will be one less day I have to stay here in the hospital.
They told me to expect a 4# baby and that he’d probably be rushed to the NICU.
He was breathing on his own but they did take him to the NICU anyway. Apparently at that hospital their policy is they stay in NICU until they’re full term (37 weeks). He was right at 6 pounds.
Because I had a c-section they wouldn’t let me up for 8 hours. My c-section was at 10pm on the 16th of Nov. and it was 8am the next morning before they let me get up and go upstairs to see him.
Even now it is painful to think about how long I had to wait before seeing my boys once they were born. It was at least 6 hours with Elijah and almost 10 with Gideon.
We ended up staying in the NICU for a whole week before they finally let us go home. I vowed I would never go through that again.
When I got pregnant the 3rd time, all I could think about was how there was no way I wanted the same kind of experience I had had before. For me or my baby.
My options were limited, every Doctor I called absolutely refused to allow me to do a vbac after 2 c-sections. And a birthing center refused me as well saying if I delivered before 37 weeks they’d send me to the E.R. which is not how I wanted to start labor.
I had mentioned home birth to my husband Anthony before and he was totally against it. Honestly, I didn’t think it was something I would be a good candidate for anyway.
The more research that I did the more I found out what the actual risks were. I was astounded to realize that the risk of potentials were MUCH higher with a 3rd c-section than with trying a vbac after 2 of them.
Anthony finally consented to visit with a midwife who would catch the baby at home. We went and talked with her and I left her house with a peace about the whole thing.
We prayed about it and talked about it a lot and researched everything we could think of and then decided to go forward with a home birth at that time.
I shared with her about the bacterial infection and she tested me for it, turns out I was positive and I began treatment. It makes me so mad to think that we stayed a week in the NICU with Gideon because the Dr. refused to test me for a basic infection.
The prenatal care I received was far and above better than any I had gotten before. Our appointments were an hour long and we went through nutrition and exercises to prepare for labor, etc. etc.
The only wrench that got thrown in the mix was when Anthony received a job offer in Atlanta (we were in Indiana) and we began preparing to move. The amazing part is that very day I was able to contact a midwife in Atlanta and talked with her about my situation. She was willing to take me as a client even at almost 30 weeks pregnant! I had to drive over an hour to her office but it was so worth every mile
Because of the superior prenatal care and the antibiotics I was able to carry Naomi to term (well actually 3 days past but who’s counting?!) and I am so grateful for that.
One of the hardest things this pregnancy was making sure I was prepared at 34 weeks if I did do the pre-term thing again but also being patient if I carried to term. Let me tell you those last few weeks were just a horrible emotional roller coaster with me thinking every pain might be ‘it’.
My labor started several different times but never picked up in intensity or stayed around. That became rather annoying to be honest. Finally on the 21st of August I had contractions that woke me up and just as I was going back to bed my water started leaking. I called the midwife and she said just to go to sleep and we’d see what Sat. brought us.
Well when I woke up my water had stopped leaking and my contractions were gone AGAIN. The midwife suggested taking some herbs to pick things back up but it didn’t do anything for me. We talked about trying castor oil Sunday or Monday but I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that or not.
Sunday morning at church I requested prayer because I was already 2 days late and I didn’t want to get too far past my due date and risk more complications. A lady at church shared with me how she had taken castor oil with her pregnancies and would do it again. i also remembered reading in a blog about Stephanie @Keeperofthehome.com taking a castor oil cocktail so I thought why not.
So after we had lunch we went and got some castor oil and orange juice. Once we put the boys in bed I took that about 3 pm and waited. It didn’t take long for it to start working, LOL.
By 7pm I figured that it wasn’t going to start my labor, Anthony started fixing supper for the boys and by 7:30 my labor kicked in. I sat at my desk timing the contractions while the boys ate. By the time they were done eating the contractions were lasting 60 seconds and only 90 seconds in between.
I called Beth, my midwife right at 8:00. We decided I’d call again in a little while and let her know what my progress was. Our thinking all along is that my labor would move very fast once it actually started up good.
I got in the shower to see if that would make the contractions stop or slow down but it didn’t. When I got out of the shower I really felt like the baby was almost here and told Anthony which of course freaked him out seeing as how the Beth and her assistant were at least an hour away!
He called Beth about 8:30 and told her that she might want to come on. I was in total concentration mode at this point during contractions.
My plan had been to finish up housework and things like that during the beginning of labor so it was all done, but that was not to be. My labor progressed so quickly that by the time Beth and Joy arrived I was dialated to an 8, 30 minutes later I was complete and ready to push.
I started pushing about 11:15 (barely 3 hours after my contractions had started). The intensity of the contractions had worn me out so that it was hard to push for more than a couple seconds at a time. It ended up taking 1-1/2 hours to push her out. The whole time I was kneeling on my bed with my arms wrapped around Anthony’s shoulders (he was facing me) and during contractions I would use Anthony as leverage to push, I would collapse on the pile of pillows in front of me in between.
I remember thinking God please help me there is no way I can do this without some divine assistance!
Part of the reason I think it took so long to get her out is that in the back of my mind I was thinking I had gotten to the pushing point with Elijah and still ended up with a surgical birth so I was maybe trying not to get my hopes up about actually delivering her myself. But once her head was out I knew I had to do it and I pushed her the rest of the way out.
I expected to feel this intense sense of empowerment or accomplishment or something, but more than anything I just felt so grateful and relaxed. Like that was just how it was supposed to be. There wasn’t all these people running around weighing and measuring and poking and prodding. And for the first time I actually got to hold my brand new newborn baby before anyone else. The amazing thing is she actually wanted to nurse too which was a total brand new experience seeing as how I pumped and syringe fed for the better part of 7-10 days before the boys were big enough to nurse after they were born.
We waited until the placenta was delivered and the cord stopped pulsing to cut it, which Anthony got to do, again for the first time and then Beth and Joy left the room to let Anthony and I sit in bed with the baby for a couple minutes by ourselves.
When they came back in I was able to go get a shower while they changed the sheets and got the room cleaned up. Then we did the newborn exam and weighed and measured her.
9 pounds 3 ounces and 19-3/4 inches long, born on August 24th.
*this picture is not at birth, LOL. She is about 9 weeks here*
Once we had the details we called our parents and grandparents and let them know. Then Beth and Joy left and we went to sleep in our own house, in our own bed it was amazing!
In the morning when the boys woke up they got to come in and meet their new sister. Elijah was a lot more interested and thrilled than Gideon but he also is too little to understand what was going on.
All in all I would say it was a very positive experience and I am so glad that I was able to carry her to term, have a vbac and do it all in my own house with my own support system!
I know that a lot of people don’t understand my need to have a non-surgical birth. I can’t really explain what it is but I would have been devastated to have not been able to at least try to birth on my own.
I know that it was a risk that some don’t think was worth it, Anthony and I both had a real peace about the whole thing but yes we were aware of the potential complications. In my mind I actually had smaller chance of complications at home versus the hospital but that I know is another debatable topic!
I have so much gratitude to Anthony for his incredible support during the whole process of deciding on a home-birth and then of course labor. I literally could not have done it without him. There is no way I could have even sat up by myself during my labor much less have endured every painful intense contraction without his encouragement and physical support.
Also Beth and Joy were amazing, they entered the house and came back to our room without making a big fuss or interrupting my labor. They jumped in and helped Anthony help me have the baby. The encouragement and support they gave me during my prenatal visits was priceless and I’m so grateful they accepted me as a patient!
Will I do a homebirth again? A million times yes! More than anything else the feeling I walked away with was a true sense of peace and confidence that I did the right thing!
You know how the pain and everything from labor supposedly disappears after birth? Well it really didn’t for me. I can remember it all very vividly. The pain, the sweating, the moaning, the having to pull together everything I had to push just one more time. I think all of those things make my little girl even more special. I was able to reach deep inside myself and push myself way past my comfort zone and do what God created my body to do.
Do our bodies always work the way they’re supposed to? Definitely not we live in a sinful fallen world after all. But I am grateful this once at least mine did!
~Mandi
What am I supposed to do? My only solution has been to stay in bed until the wake up, I like waking up to a little person kissing me awake rather than an alarm clock any day BUT I feel unproductive some days.