I am so thankful the Lord saw fit to bless me with a daughter. We have two older boys, Elijah, 4 and Gideon, 2 1/2… and let me tell you they are ALL boy! But this little girl is so different. She loves to play with the boy’s matchbox cars and she loves to rough house with them but it’s already so evident how much she is different!

Every birthday reminds me not only of God’s goodness towards me in blessing me with any children at all but also the extreme amount of responsibility it is being their mom. It is not something I take lightly!

Oh, that I would be a woman worthy of telling my daughter to imitate me! My prayer is that the Lord would mold me and refine me and break my heart over my own sin so that I can truly be a Godly example to my own children. If I will let it, this time in my life can be molding me into a more disciplined, self controlled, loving and self sacrificing woman.

I spend so much time during the day on truly unimportant things… things that won’t matter ONE bit in eternity.

My children’s souls are at stake here and I have stepped up to take dominion over what God has entrusted me with!

Sons are a heritage from the Lord,children a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Psalm 127:3-5

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY NAOMI!

]]> http://www.thelifeofamommy.com/2010/08/happy-birthday/feed/ 0 http://www.thelifeofamommy.com/2010/08/being-a-wife/ http://www.thelifeofamommy.com/2010/08/being-a-wife/#comments Mon, 23 Aug 2010 21:41:07 +0000 Mandi http://www.thelifeofamommy.com/?p=273 I’ve known this my whole marriage, not sure why I’m just now trying to put it into practice… I’m supposed to be a BLESSING to my husband. Not just a blessing because I’m his wife, LOL! But a blessing in honoring him and the things that are important to him.
One of the practical ways I’m seeking to improve in this area is the kitchen. It’s always the last on my list because its the room I dislike cleaning the most! Well… it turns out its the one room in the house my husband cares the most about!

So that means re-prioritizing what I think is important to honor my husband! Practically for me, that means worrying less about the bedrooms and bathrooms unless the kitchen is done. It means disciplining myself to rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher RIGHT away, not later!

Right now my sink is clear and the table is set and waiting on supper to be done in the oven. I’m watching the kids play ‘restaurant’ in the living room while I’m typing this. I feel good about today and even though what I like to have cleaned hasn’t been touched, my kids have been loved and trained today AND my kitchen is clean which will please my husband!

I’m going to keep posting about this to keep myself accountable! I have a lot of other posts floating around in my head so I just might get back into the blog world as a writer not just reader.

“A true wife makes a man’s life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love ‘turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.’ While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is nobles and richest in his being. She inspires him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. -JR Miller

Mandi

My boys just don’t function without their sleep and if they get woke up they are grumpy all day, so I can either have happy kids or get more done. My goal this year is to severely limit my computer time while my children are awake. That basically means I’m not online much.
I do check my facebook regularly… seems like a quick, easy way to stay in touch with lots of people at once.
*IF* I can get my oldest (3) to go to sleep at nap time I normally have about 90 minutes to get anything done that I need to do with kids not around. I have to admit sometimes this just means sitting in front of the computer or on the couch with a book.
I really don’t want to use nap time as catch up time, I’d rather just enjoy the quiet for a few min. and recharge for the evening.
My husband is blessed to be able to work from home 99% of the time which has been awesome, but he still works long hard hours. I am so grateful for his determination and skill that allow him such a good job. There are normally only a couple hours in the evening that I see him so I really try and limit what I’m doing as far as house work after the kids go to bed.

So all that said, I’m basically having to learn to lower my standards for my house during this stage in my life.

I have three little ones that all require CONSTANT supervision and training. I think nourishing their little souls and teaching them is far more important than having my house perfectly spotless all the time.
My main goals during the day are
#1 – to show my kids love and teach them about the Lord in everything I say and DO all day
#2 – training my kids to obey and also training them in life skills and Godly character
#3 – making sure I’m feeding my family healthy nutrient-dense food (as local as possible)
#4 – consistently choosing to be intentional in my day instead of just trying to endure it

*these are just the ones I’m coming up with right now, I’ll add more as I think of them*
I’ll end with this quote…

“You are as much serving God in looking after your own children,
and training them up in God’s fear,
and minding the house,
and making your household a church for God,

as you would be if you had been called
to lead an army to battle
for the Lord of hosts.”

~Charles Spurgeon

I really need to go back several years with this birth, I can’t really just start with this pregnancy.
After two years of trying to have a baby in 2005 we surprisingly found out we were pregnant. I had several scares during the pregnancy but overall everything was going great.
Until at 35 weeks my water broke one morning. I wasn’t having contractions but my Doctor wanted to see me at the hospital. They induced my labor and things sped up VERY quickly. I started pushing and thought the process would be over soon… Elijah was face up and every time I had a contraction his head was being slammed into my pelvis and his heart rate would drop. So the option we were left with was a c-section.
Knowing what I know now I would have requested to change positions rather than lying on my back trying to push him out and I wouldn’t have taken the induction drugs which I believe led to the fetal distress… BUT hindsight is 20/20.
Fast forward 2 years and I’m pregnant with my second son, Gideon, I have a Dr. who has promised me I could try a vbac. During my pregnancy I told him I thought I had a bacterial infection. He wouldn’t listen to me and refused to test me for it. The reason being is I had refused the hormone shot he wanted me to take to prevent pre-term labor again. I assured him my water broke and I wasn’t in labor with Elijah (there is a difference) the hormone shot doesn’t help with the water breakage just if you’re actually going into labor early.
So this time my water broke at 34 weeks and when we got the hospital the Doctor basically said we can do a c-section now or in 12 hours it’s up to you. Knowing that I had a 19 mo. Old at home I thought why not just get it over with? That will be one less day I have to stay here in the hospital.
They told me to expect a 4# baby and that he’d probably be rushed to the NICU.
He was breathing on his own but they did take him to the NICU anyway. Apparently at that hospital their policy is they stay in NICU until they’re full term (37 weeks). He was right at 6 pounds.
Because I had a c-section they wouldn’t let me up for 8 hours. My c-section was at 10pm on the 16th of Nov. and it was 8am the next morning before they let me get up and go upstairs to see him.
Even now it is painful to think about how long I had to wait before seeing my boys once they were born. It was at least 6 hours with Elijah and almost 10 with Gideon.
We ended up staying in the NICU for a whole week before they finally let us go home. I vowed I would never go through that again.
When I got pregnant the 3rd time, all I could think about was how there was no way I wanted the same kind of experience I had had before. For me or my baby.
My options were limited, every Doctor I called absolutely refused to allow me to do a vbac after 2 c-sections. And a birthing center refused me as well saying if I delivered before 37 weeks they’d send me to the E.R. which is not how I wanted to start labor.
I had mentioned home birth to my husband Anthony before and he was totally against it. Honestly, I didn’t think it was something I would be a good candidate for anyway.
The more research that I did the more I found out what the actual risks were. I was astounded to realize that the risk of potentials were MUCH higher with a 3rd c-section than with trying a vbac after 2 of them.
Anthony finally consented to visit with a midwife who would catch the baby at home. We went and talked with her and I left her house with a peace about the whole thing.
We prayed about it and talked about it a lot and researched everything we could think of and then decided to go forward with a home birth at that time.
I shared with her about the bacterial infection and she tested me for it, turns out I was positive and I began treatment. It makes me so mad to think that we stayed a week in the NICU with Gideon because the Dr. refused to test me for a basic infection.
The prenatal care I received was far and above better than any I had gotten before. Our appointments were an hour long and we went through nutrition and exercises to prepare for labor, etc. etc.
The only wrench that got thrown in the mix was when Anthony received a job offer in Atlanta (we were in Indiana) and we began preparing to move. The amazing part is that very day I was able to contact a midwife in Atlanta and talked with her about my situation. She was willing to take me as a client even at almost 30 weeks pregnant! I had to drive over an hour to her office but it was so worth every mile

Because of the superior prenatal care and the antibiotics I was able to carry Naomi to term (well actually 3 days past but who’s counting?!) and I am so grateful for that.
One of the hardest things this pregnancy was making sure I was prepared at 34 weeks if I did do the pre-term thing again but also being patient if I carried to term. Let me tell you those last few weeks were just a horrible emotional roller coaster with me thinking every pain might be ‘it’.

My labor started several different times but never picked up in intensity or stayed around. That became rather annoying to be honest. Finally on the 21st of August I had contractions that woke me up and just as I was going back to bed my water started leaking. I called the midwife and she said just to go to sleep and we’d see what Sat. brought us.
Well when I woke up my water had stopped leaking and my contractions were gone AGAIN. The midwife suggested taking some herbs to pick things back up but it didn’t do anything for me. We talked about trying castor oil Sunday or Monday but I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that or not.
Sunday morning at church I requested prayer because I was already 2 days late and I didn’t want to get too far past my due date and risk more complications. A lady at church shared with me how she had taken castor oil with her pregnancies and would do it again. i also remembered reading in a blog about Stephanie @Keeperofthehome.com taking a castor oil cocktail so I thought why not.
So after we had lunch we went and got some castor oil and orange juice. Once we put the boys in bed I took that about 3 pm and waited. It didn’t take long for it to start working, LOL.
By 7pm I figured that it wasn’t going to start my labor, Anthony started fixing supper for the boys and by 7:30 my labor kicked in. I sat at my desk timing the contractions while the boys ate. By the time they were done eating the contractions were lasting 60 seconds and only 90 seconds in between.
I called Beth, my midwife right at 8:00. We decided I’d call again in a little while and let her know what my progress was. Our thinking all along is that my labor would move very fast once it actually started up good.
I got in the shower to see if that would make the contractions stop or slow down but it didn’t. When I got out of the shower I really felt like the baby was almost here and told Anthony which of course freaked him out seeing as how the Beth and her assistant were at least an hour away!
He called Beth about 8:30 and told her that she might want to come on. I was in total concentration mode at this point during contractions.
My plan had been to finish up housework and things like that during the beginning of labor so it was all done, but that was not to be. My labor progressed so quickly that by the time Beth and Joy arrived I was dialated to an 8, 30 minutes later I was complete and ready to push.
I started pushing about 11:15 (barely 3 hours after my contractions had started). The intensity of the contractions had worn me out so that it was hard to push for more than a couple seconds at a time. It ended up taking 1-1/2 hours to push her out. The whole time I was kneeling on my bed with my arms wrapped around Anthony’s shoulders (he was facing me) and during contractions I would use Anthony as leverage to push, I would collapse on the pile of pillows in front of me in between.
I remember thinking God please help me there is no way I can do this without some divine assistance!
Part of the reason I think it took so long to get her out is that in the back of my mind I was thinking I had gotten to the pushing point with Elijah and still ended up with a surgical birth so I was maybe trying not to get my hopes up about actually delivering her myself. But once her head was out I knew I had to do it and I pushed her the rest of the way out.
I expected to feel this intense sense of empowerment or accomplishment or something, but more than anything I just felt so grateful and relaxed. Like that was just how it was supposed to be. There wasn’t all these people running around weighing and measuring and poking and prodding. And for the first time I actually got to hold my brand new newborn baby before anyone else. The amazing thing is she actually wanted to nurse too which was a total brand new experience seeing as how I pumped and syringe fed for the better part of 7-10 days before the boys were big enough to nurse after they were born.
We waited until the placenta was delivered and the cord stopped pulsing to cut it, which Anthony got to do, again for the first time and then Beth and Joy left the room to let Anthony and I sit in bed with the baby for a couple minutes by ourselves.
When they came back in I was able to go get a shower while they changed the sheets and got the room cleaned up. Then we did the newborn exam and weighed and measured her.
9 pounds 3 ounces and 19-3/4 inches long, born on August 24th.

*this picture is not at birth, LOL. She is about 9 weeks here*
Once we had the details we called our parents and grandparents and let them know. Then Beth and Joy left and we went to sleep in our own house, in our own bed it was amazing!
In the morning when the boys woke up they got to come in and meet their new sister. Elijah was a lot more interested and thrilled than Gideon but he also is too little to understand what was going on.
All in all I would say it was a very positive experience and I am so glad that I was able to carry her to term, have a vbac and do it all in my own house with my own support system!
I know that a lot of people don’t understand my need to have a non-surgical birth. I can’t really explain what it is but I would have been devastated to have not been able to at least try to birth on my own.
I know that it was a risk that some don’t think was worth it, Anthony and I both had a real peace about the whole thing but yes we were aware of the potential complications. In my mind I actually had smaller chance of complications at home versus the hospital but that I know is another debatable topic!
I have so much gratitude to Anthony for his incredible support during the whole process of deciding on a home-birth and then of course labor. I literally could not have done it without him. There is no way I could have even sat up by myself during my labor much less have endured every painful intense contraction without his encouragement and physical support.
Also Beth and Joy were amazing, they entered the house and came back to our room without making a big fuss or interrupting my labor. They jumped in and helped Anthony help me have the baby. The encouragement and support they gave me during my prenatal visits was priceless and I’m so grateful they accepted me as a patient!

Will I do a homebirth again? A million times yes! More than anything else the feeling I walked away with was a true sense of peace and confidence that I did the right thing!

You know how the pain and everything from labor supposedly disappears after birth? Well it really didn’t for me. I can remember it all very vividly. The pain, the sweating, the moaning, the having to pull together everything I had to push just one more time. I think all of those things make my little girl even more special. I was able to reach deep inside myself and push myself way past my comfort zone and do what God created my body to do.

Do our bodies always work the way they’re supposed to? Definitely not we live in a sinful fallen world after all. But I am grateful this once at least mine did!

~Mandi

It’s not that there is 3 of them, its that I finally had the boys in the same schedule and now Naomi’s is almost opposite! And that girl just loves to nurse all day! Can’t hardly get anything done when I’m always stopping to nurse! Oh well!

The house can wait.

That is a hard thing for me to just let it go. There are some days I’d be totally embarassed to have someone stop by my house, books, clothes, toys, etc. everywhere. But then I have to remember that I have 3 small children and they are more important than what my house looks like.

I have also come to realize that organization is KEY. The more organized I can be the smoother things go. Getting organized seems so chaotic at first but then when it all takes shape it’s like a breath of fresh air!
I’ve been working in the bedrooms sorting through clothes and getting rid of bags and bags of them.

I already went through toys before we moved and now we’re getting ready to have a yard sale on Saturday to get rid of all this excess. Too much stuff just makes too much work!

A couple quick prayer requests.

• My husband’s grandfather is having a heart procedure done today, please pray that it goes well.
• A friend of mine from school days has been incarcerated for somethings he should not have done and now will be away from his wife and 3 small children for several years. PLEASE pray for them. I have been tore up about this since I found out and can’t imagine being without my husband and the kids being without their daddy.

I think all three of the kids are finally asleep for their nap SO I best get somethings done! I think I’m go

What I’m referring to is the “wow, you have your hands full” when they see me with either just the two boys or better yet all three of the little ones!

Do I say “yes I do” and give one of those sighs you hear that make you wonder whether the mama resents the little ones? Or do I say “yes I do but we have a lot of fun!”…

I have made a point to say the latter, mainly to maintain a good attitude about being a mama to little ones BUT also to be a good testimony. Let me explain…

My children are some of the biggest blessings God has ever bestowed upon me. The devil tried to steal that blessing from me and the Lord didn’t allow it. I am eternally grateful.

I like who I am better now that I’m a mama. The scripture that talks about women being saved through childbirth I never really understood, but now I’m wondering if it might mean that I am being sanctified through the dying of myself as I’m raising these little blessings.

Don’t get me wrong… we have our days here. We have alot of ‘those kind of days’. You know what I’m talking about! And I don’t ever want to give the impression that I’ve got it all together, because I most certainly do not. But I do want to give the people I come into contact with a different view of children and motherhood if I can.

I really desire for people to see the Lord in the way I interact with my children,and especially in the way I REact to them. I don’t ever want my children or anyone else to see meanness on my face when I’m correcting or disciplining them. I am training my children because I love them and because my desire is to see them learn to be obedient and have that carry over into their adult lives. I want them to see love on my face, I want them to see Jesus!
It’s so important that we keep an eternal perspective as well as a 10 years out kind of perspective.

First of all the eternal… I don’t want to feed more “self” into my children. The more they can learn to be obedient to their daddy and I, the better off they’ll be in their relationship with the Lord later on.

Second of all ten years down the road, I’m going to have lost the opportunity to be training. When my kids are teenagers I BETTER have EARNED their respect and gained their hearts, if not I will have lost them.

At the present moment I demand respect and I expect obedience and so on and so forth. But, I’m believing a day will come when those things are voluntary and the respect mutual.

I just try to keep reminding myself that these moments pass so quickly and I sure would hate to waste them on the little things. My little ones that are so time consuming now soon enough will be ready to spread their wings and fly. My job now is to make sure I’m helping them build their wings with the right stuff. One of the ways I know of in this season to thrive instead of just surviving is to be thankful and not allow any self pity about my circumstances or allow others comments to illicit pity either.

Remind yourself everyday (some days might require minute by minute reminders!) that these little ones are blessings and the devil is trying to turn them into a curse. DO NOT allow him to do that!

Do the job that is required of you as the parent and train them in the way they should go.

With the housing market the way it is it seems smarter to buy something now and ’save’ up money in equity. *hopefully*

We’ve been looking for 4 months now and we’ve seen so many houses. We’ve put offers on some too and nothing has ever worked out. I’m hopeful that the house we’re currently under contract for will be the exception.

We’re supposed to close sometime next week. We’re really excited!! With my husband working from home, having a separate office space for him will be wonderful. It’s been quite stressful trying to keep 3 kids three and under quiet while he’s on a conference call in a house where you can hear everything from one side to the other.

Keep us in your prayers that this goes smoothly! We’ll be moving next week if everything closes when we’re supposed to.

Did I mention the house has a gorgeous pool? How fun will that be next summer?!

Since I’ve written last I’ve moved to a different state and had a baby… so nothing much, LOL!

This week won’t be any less busy than normal either. We should be closing on a new home here and moving.This will be move # 17 in the last 7 years! But move #1 with 3 children! Although, our last move I was very pregnant so that might be comparable!

A quick update on my little ones:

Elijah,3, seems to grow up more everyday! It is a roller coaster ride for sure. One moment he is acting so big and being nice to his brother and obedient to his daddy and I, then the next we have a little one pitching a fit. I do get frustrated and feel like sometimes I am not doing well with training him BUT I do know that it’s worth it and we’ll reap the reward for our perseverance with him. He is a great kid and I’m so excited to see what he does with his life.

Gideon, almost 2, is talking so much now and really showing a lot of personality. He ADORES his big brother and likes nothing more than to have Elijah’s attention, however he has to get it. They share a bedroom and sometimes it is awfully hard to get them to sleep because of all the playing going on. They play so well together when they’re supposed to be sleeping!

Naomi, 4 weeks old, sleeps, eats and poops. She has started smiling at us and cooing which is pretty neat! After two surgical births with the boys, I had her at home with a midwife and it was amazing! I’m getting back into the swing of things easier this time and she is doing great.

9 pounds 3 oz. when she was born and a week later she’d gained almost half a pound. Haven’t weighed her since but if her eating is any indication I’m sure she is gaining well! She can already fit into the 3-6 month onesies.

All in all things are going well. My husband’s new job is going great, he is able to work from home some each week and it’s nice to have him around more! We’re going back to our home church (the one we helped start 3 years ago) and it’s been such a blessing to be back in a church family!

That about gets you updated on us… lots of stuff but mostly pretty boring!

Hopefully I’ll do a better job keeping up on this. I plan on doing some projects on the new house next week and I’ll be sure and take before and after pictures.